THE VERY BEST ADMIN APPLICATION YOUR SORRY EYES EVER SEEN

[pontifexminimus]

BYOND ckey:
PONTIFEXMINIMUS

Character name:
MAXIMILIAN CROWLEY

Discord username (+user id):
Dragor#0583 BUT YOU BETTER NOT PM ME BITCH

How long have you played on Citadel?:
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW MAN

How long have you played SS13?:
DUDE WAY TOO LONG. I MET EXADV PERSONALLY AND SUCKED HIS COCK

What is your timezone/general hours of activity?:
THE ONLY TIMEZONE THAT MATTERS. WHICH IS NOT THE USA MIND YOU

Previous SS13 related admin experience:
I ADMINNED ON MANY ILLUSTRIOUS SERVERS SUCH AS BAYSTATION, POLARIS, VIRGO AND PONYFUCKER13. ONE OR MORE OF THESE SERVER MIGHT NOT EXIST.

Previous non-SS13 related admin experience:
 NONE THAT WOULD BE RELEVANT TO YOU CHUMMER BUT I ONCE ADMINNED A WEBSITE CALLED HOWTOMAKECOOKIES.DE

Current administrators who have agreed to support your application:
NO ONE I AM A MAVERICK

Reason for application:
BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN, BYOTCH

Please answer the following questions to the best of your abilities:

1. How would you engage with two players having an out of character altercation?

MATE THAT IS A STUPID QUESTION. BUT HERE WE FUCKING GO. FIRST OF ALL WHERE IS IT HAPPENING BECAUSE WE ARE A MULTIPLATFORM COMMUNITY. IS IT THE FORUMS, DISCORD OR IN-GAME. THERE IS IT LOOC OR OOC.
NOW WHEN WE DETERMINED WHERE IT EVEN FUCKING IS WE CAN TAKE STEPS AGAINST IT. FIRST, IF IT IS PUBLIC, TELL THEM TO COOL IT AND TAKE A STEP BACK IN A POLITE WAY BECAUSE THEIR "DISCUSSION" IS GETTING CIRCULAR, AGGRESSIVE AND PROBABLY A BIT RUDE. IF THEY JUST SPAM ABOUT THEIR ARGUMENTS IN A POLITE MANNER, HOWEVER, MAYBE JUST ASK THEM IF THEY COULD TAKE IT TO PRIVATE PMS. YOU KNOW MOST PEOPLE ARE SURPRISINGLY REASONABLE.
ANYWAY, IF THEY REFUSE TO SHOUT BITCHNIGGER AT EACH OTHER, INDIVIDUALLY MUTE THEM AND ADMIN PM THEM THAT THIS CAN'T GO ON. THEY ARE FREE TO YELL BITCHNIGGER AT EACH OTHER IN THE VARIOUS FORMS OF PRIVATE MESSAGING, SUCH AS DISCORD OR FORUM PMS.
IF YOU FEEL GENEROUS, YOU MIGHT EVEN TRY TO JUDICATE THEIR ALTERCATIONS, BUT WHAT ARE YOU THE FUCKING COPS? NO FUCK OFF, THEY PROBABLY DON'T CARE ANYWAY.

2. What should an admin do if they're involved in a situation that needs admin intervention?

WELL IF IT NEEDS ADMIN INTERVENTION THEN YOU PROBABLY KNOW SHIT HIT THE FAN OR YOU NEED TO CORRECT THE BEHAVIOUR OF SOMEONE ELSE. BUT HALT. YOU MUST KNOW. YOU ARE NOT JUDGE DREDD, YOU'RE IN A TEAM. IF YOU CAN, AVOID LONE WOLF JUDICATION. YOU HAVE BUDDIES, SPLIT THE WORK BETWEEN THE TEAM SO EVERYONE CAN HANDLE ISSUES, MAKING IT A SPEEDY AFFAIR WITH MULTIPLE VIEWPOINTS ANALYZING THE SITUATION FROM SEVERAL ANGLES. WOW, WHAT A FEATURE.
IN ANY CASE, FIRST YOU SHOULD INVESTIGATE WHAT EVEN NEEDS INTERVENTION. LOGS, ADMIN PMS AND THE STATEMENTS OF PLAYERS ARE KEY HERE. GATHER AS MUCH INFORMATION AS YOU CAN, UNTIL YOU HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE OF THE SITUATION. DISCUSS THIS THEN WITH YOUR FELLOW ADMINS IF THEY ARE AVAILABLE. THEN CONFRONT THE POTENTIAL CULPRIT AND LAY OUT WHAT THEY DID WRONG IN YOUR EYES AND AWAIT THEIR RESPONSE. JUDGE THEIR RESPONSE ACCORDINGLY AS WELL AS THEIR HISTORY AND COME TO YOUR CONCLUSION. MAYHAP A WARNING SUFFICES. MAYHAP YOU WANT TO SWING YOUR THROBBING THUNDEROUS HAMMER UPON THE INFIDEL AND WITH A LOUD CRACK OF MIGHT SPLIT THEIR CONNECTION FROM THE SERVER LIKE HERAKLES DID WITH HIS MIGHTY HEW AGAINST THE HYDRA.
OR IT'S REALLY JUST POINTING OUT SOMETHING TO ANOTHER PLAYER, YOU KNOW, YOU COULD BE HELPFUL. OR SPAWN SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE SO THEY CAN HAVE HARMLESS FUN.
BUT LET'S FACE IT, YOUR THIRST FOR THE BLOOD OF THE PLAYERBASE BOILS DEEP IN YOUR VEINS, I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, WE ALL KNOW IT.

3. How should an admin determine in what way to punish someone who breaks the rules?

OH BOY ISN'T THAT A LOVELY LOADED QUESTION. NEW ADMINS HAVE A HARD TIME WITH THIS, BUT IT IS GENERALLY EASY. FIRST YOU JUDGE WHAT THE OFFENSE EVEN WAS. WAS THE GUY A BIT OF A POOPYHEAD AND RUINED SOMEONE ELSE'S ROUND OR DID HE FIREBOMB THE ENTIRE SERVER WHILE SPAMMING NIGGER IN OOC?
HOW OLD IS THE ACCOUNT? YES, THIS IS IMPORTANT. SOME DAY ZERO ACCOUNT FIREAXING WORDLESSLY SOME INNOCENT (HAHAAHA GOOD JOKE) PLAYERS IS PROBABLY A GRIEFER AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
HOW WAS THE TALK WITH THE CULPRIT. YES, YOU HAVE TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHEN THERE IS EVEN THE INKLING OF THE CHANCE THAT HE MIGHT DONE IT IN GENUINE ERROR OR IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT. YES, THIS EXISTS. AFFECT IN SS13 WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO. IF THEY REALIZE THEIR ERROR OR WERE JUST BECOMING EMOTIONAL AND DID AN OOPS, YOU SHOULD BE MORE LENIENT AND USE A WARNING OR A TEMPORARY BAN.
RULESLAWYERING, OBSTRUCTION AND HOSTILITY HOWEVER SPEAKS FOR A DIFFERENT KIND OF PERSON. THEY KNOW THEY BROKE THE RULES AND TRY TO PARAGRAPH JOCKEY TO LESSEN THEIR PUNISHMENT OR GRIN SMUGLY IN YOUR FUCKING FACE BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY GOT IT FIGURED OUT HOW TO BE A SHIT. JUST APPLY THE BAN YOU THINK THEY DESERVE THEN.
ANOTHER IMPORTANT ASPECT IS THE NOTE HISTORY OF THE PERSON. YES, YOU SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE HOW OLD SOME OF THESE IS BUT IF IT BECOMES OBVIOUS THIS IS REPETITIVE BEHAVIOUR THEY WILL PROBABLY NOT FUCKING CHANGE AND SO THEY DESERVE NOTHING BUT A SWIFT EXECUTION. DIGITALLY, DON'T MURDER PEOPLE YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH.

4. Under what conditions should an admin de-admin themselves while playing?

NEVER
HOW ELSE CAN YOU METAGAME, FUCKER?
JUST KIDDING HAHA I'M FUCKING FUNNY.
NO, REALLY, DEADMINNING YOURSELF ISN'T EXACTLY NEEDED MOST OF THE TIME WHEN YOU PLAY ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE JUST PLAYING A NORMAL ROUND DUDE. IT BECOMES MORE CRITICAL HOWEVER IF YOU FEEL LIKE HUNTING ANTAGS OR BEING ONE YOURSELF. DEFINITELY DEADMIN YOURSELF THEN. WHY? BECAUSE PEOPLE HATE IT WHEN YOU SURPRISE THEM WITH YOUR DAZZLING ROBUST KNOWLEDGE AND ACCUSE YOU OF CHEATING EXACTLY LIKE SALTY COD KIDS SAYING "NICE HACK DIPSHIT I STILL BANG YOUR MOM." AND YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG BECAUSE YOUR MOM IS A LESBIAN AND ONLY MUNCHES CARPET AND YOU ARE TOO COMPUTER ILLITERATE TO MANIPULATE GAMES IN SUCH A WAY. WOW IT'S NOT HARD, FUCKING MORON.
ANYWAY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER DEADMINNING MAKES YOU NOT ABLE TO ADMIN SO DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU'RE ALONE.

PLAY ANOTHER TIME THE ANTAGHEROKILLER1337HAXXOR MASTER DIPSHIT, YOU TOOK OVER A JOB IN THE COMMUNITY, RESPECT IT.

DEADMINNING IS ALSO ADVISABLE FROM TIME TO TIME TO JUST SEE THE GAME AND COMMUNITY AND ROUND FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A PLAYER TO NOT LOSE TOUCH WITH THE COMMUNITY AND THE PEOPLE INSIDE OF IT. SHOCKING, I KNOW, BUT YOU GOTTA KNOW YOUR CHARGES A LITTLE BIT, BITCH.

5. What is expected of an admin on Citadel?

FROM WHAT I GATHERED IT'S LEAKING PRIVATE TEAM INTERNAL DOCUMENTS TO YOUR METABUDDIES AND IGNORING ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS COMMAND CHARACTERS BUT GETTING BUTTMAD OVER SILLY PLAYERS CALLING THEMSELVES COLONY DIRECTOR AND PLAYING COLONY DIRECTOR.
LIKE C'MON M8 THIS IS HILARIOUS SHIT.

[Sk1Tz]

Is this Jesus?

[Ragolution]

bad taste

[geemiesif]

Lets just speed deny this.

[CawingCrow]

Echs dee

[mouseofthecake]

scrungo beepis?

[kevinz000]

+1

Okay in all seriousness please take this more seriously =|

[Nik707]

go away

[Keekenox]

*dabs*

[Kerbal22]

The admin we need.