Banning admin: Subtumaka/Blackmajor
Ban type/duration (where you are banned from and for how long): Permanent
Ban reason:
(or if pic is broken) : https://imgur.com/KQFdUp4
Your side of the story:
To be entirely honest, this ban reason does not encompass the entirety of why I was permanently banned.
For a solid three hours I was utterly committed to being as absolutely toxic, rude, and childish as possible. It started when I logged into RP and started a fight with a fire extinguisher, at which point the medic who was tasked with fixing the aftermath put me into cryosleep. At that point, any reasonable player would sign out, take a break, and deal with things later, being entirely unreasonable, I argued with an admin. Frankly at the time it was utterly nonsensical bitching on my side, and the admin was well within his/her right to kick me out for that kind of disrespectful behavior.
The admin accidentally kicked someone else by mistake(they were new), and I viciously mocked them on discord about the, to be fair, entirely understandable mistake. Blackmajor intervened at this point and banned me from the discord, rightfully so, as I was really committed to continuing the mockery. I really can't explain exactly how appreciative I am of the fact that he did so when he did, it kept my embarrassing antics isolated.
After getting banned from two thirds of the community, for whatever reason, I decided the correct course of action was to login to main and immediately suicide, I'm assuming after the fact it was to be childishly defiant for the consequences that my rulebreaking caused. I ranted and raved in admin chat til at which point, someone had the decency to remove me entirely from the server(I assume Subtumaka, not really sure of the four-to-five day initial ban). At the time, the banning admin explained that I could talk to the "*~Spicey Boi~*" Blackmajor to explain myself.
In order to 'explain myself' I apparently spent the next two hours ranting and raving at Blackmajor in discord PMs. It was utterly inexcusable, rude, and uncalled for. At no time has this administration done anything besides their jobs. I treated each person I encountered like garbage, almost entirely dehumanizing them. It is entirely my fault that this ban happened.
Due to this continued, personalized, rudeness, and mocking Blackmajor that I could just dodge the ban, I was then permanently banned from both servers(Main/RP), and administration informed several other servers resulting in QC bans from multiple other servers.
Why you think you should be unbanned:
I cannot begin to express how sorry I am that you people had to deal with me for as long as you did that night. I was completely and utterly convinced that being rude, toxic, and terrible would somehow create a fantastic experience for your (completely voluntary) staff. The entire event(after the fact) was embarrassing, humiliating, and really called into question my perception of this community and staff that serves it.
I wish to formally apologize to every member of staff that honestly tried to help me, but ultimately to user Blackmajor. I was totally out of line, and acted like a maniac when really, you were just doing your job and had no ill intent. I spent a solid two hours screaming at you and you weathered every minute of it like a professional. You didn't deserve it at all, and I am truly sorry to have treated you like that.
In the interest of full disclosure, when I said I have the needed tools, links, and knowledge to avoid the ban, it was entirely true. I have not, and will not(regardless of the decision of this appeal) use these means to regain access to this community. Part of what made Citadel so enticing was knowing everyone aboard and enjoying them, the community has a lot to offer, and I really enjoyed my time here.
Given my note history, I clearly didn't appreciate it, or you all, like I should've. I've been consistently rude, combative, and ultimately not given back joy to the community in the way that it brings me joy.
I've taken a month off to think exactly on these things, the way I hurt people, the words I said, and the way I acted.
At the time of this incident, I never had anything even remotely close to it. I can say that it was an unintended interaction of medication, but that is not an excuse, just an explanation of why I felt the need to act like such an arrogant jerk. I can promise this will not be a repeat event, but I do understand that forgiveness and unity have to come from both sides of an argument, and I would completely understand if I am not ready to be forgiven.
