Forrest wrote: ↑Mon Jan 18, 2021 5:07 am
>throwing shade at... my name?
Now who's the one overreacting to perceived insults
Hey forrest, that's not an overreaction in the slightest, I don't know how you think that. I don't know how you got to that conclusion, how you think that's an insult, or anything else. You look deeply petty with this.
Anyway, let's talk about, apparently, how everyone's walking on eggshells around me. I can't prove that people are, or were, scared of me and how they don't want to say anything remotely negative towards me. I can't read minds or, I guess, private DMs or private discords. I don't see anything in any sort of public chats about how people are annoyed at me, or, don't want to deal with me. But, that's just what I have access to.
But, let's instead ask what makes someone "walk around eggshells around them". Generally it's when someone has a hairpin anger problem, quick to start grudges, and holds onto them forever. Someone nobody wants to deal with, so instead lets them say whatever they want because it's easier that way. My fiancee has an abusive father (I'm not sure if she will admit it though), I'm aware intimately what this means.
I, always, try to make sure anyone I'm teasing, or, making jokes to, is comfortable with it. I will DM people directly asking them if they're uncomfortable with it, and if they are, stop immediately and try to get other people to stop as well. It's important to define boundaries, and keep to them them. Give people attention when they want it, give them love when they need it. I've been actually angry on a literal handful of times on citadel, and I can point to all 5 times of it happening. Hell, I would always try to keep myself open to anything that anyone needs, why was my nickname always Justin Phillips (He/Him) while I was an admin? Because I wanted new players to know who I was, who I played, and, my profile picture never changed. This helps people get the base information that this is who I am. Literally one person suggested the pronoun thing, to make other people feel more comfortable about putting theirs there. It's not a big deal, but, it makes someone better, why wouldn't I. I was told the "lolbanned" jokes made someone uncomfortable, so, I stopped right then and there. It's as simple as that. If anyone wants something better from me, just ask and I always try and accommodate, I'm here to help people.
Your toxicity, however, does require walking on eggshells. Anything saying near you, that you think is bad? Shouted at, insulted, and added into a long list of "see X person hates me and they're the problem". You've admitted that you have problems with people. You think that people are out to get you, when it's just you screaming at people who you think have grudges against you.
There's the golden rule, if everyone around you is an asshole, you're the asshole.