You went from being super nice and hanging out ICly and even talking OOCly to being an absolute asshole to me and outright lying about me carrying around boxing gloves/spreading rumors of stuff you only heard through the forums about me after I literally stood outside your door and barked a few times one shift and that annoyed you. I had at that point done absolutely nothing personal against you, but the people you were hanging out with, the little metacircle that you surround yourself with ICly and OOCly (You all joined the discord around 20th of December) has done absolutely nothing but attack anyone in a hivemind like fashion that you dislike. Your behavior on the discord towards me has been insanely hostile to the point you've been kicked off of it (along with me) for downright instigating arguments.Detective Google wrote: ↑Thu Feb 20, 2020 12:32 pmGenerally I dislike responding on applications such as this because I feel most- if not all are incapable of thinking they're wrong, but, I suppose I must.
The main problem here is the separation of "work" and "play", I definitely shitpost and joke around and peanut in a manner unbefitting someone representing the server when I have no obligation otherwise, I'm sure if most of us acted as though we do online where our bosses could see it would be more than a little odd, especially in a service job.
I'm also sure as admins you face plenty of cases where you have to put the "big boy" pants on and put the "customer service smile" on your face, and deal with someone who is less than wonderful in a fair and polite manner.
What I'd propose in light of this, is that I perhaps haven't given admins a good look at the more professional behavior I am capable and willing to display when it's necessary, rather than just being some random player on a server, To assuage this issue I've finally stopped putting off asking for the mentor role and hope to fulfill it in a way satisfying to those requiring help, admins, and myself, as well as providing some of my experience with the game's mechanics to newer or less knowledgeable players.
In terms of grudging and metafriending, I truly deny both, my best "friends" so to speak on the server are staff or retired staff and are part of the reason I've been so interested in joining the staff and contributing to something I think they're doing a wonderful job with. I have definitely had some conflicts with people, everyone has, and I know some admins have had issues with people holding their ERP against them as a weapon of sorts, which perhaps can explain- if not excuse my reason for holding some people with distaste. However. I do not, and will not hold this against anyone in game, at any time. The way I treat out of character conflicts is by acting as though the people who play these characters have not met, and at best have gotten second hand knowledge by word of mouth of others, I find this "groundhog day" way of approaching such things works best as as I stated in my application, the best way to settle a conflict is to separate it's participants, and I don't exclude myself from this, while it's possible to put on a fake face and treat people in a way that excludes your personal judgement doing so is stressful and I avoid it when not required, is my solution the best way? obviously not. does it keep me from acting in a way that would disparage other players in game based on prior incidents? It does. I can definitely be a bit more civil with discussions with people which I have had issues with prior, if that is what is required, perhaps that is on me for being a bit too direct.
For those who do not want to read a rather lengthy response, TLDR;
Work =/= Play
I apologize for the interruption, and shall let you return to your posting.
You literally say " and at best have gotten second hand knowledge by word of mouth of others, " yet you've treated me, personally, like absolute dogshit with situations that had absolutely nothing to do with you. You seek, ICly and OOCly, reasons to stir up conflict with those you dislike/me. Every time I've reported this behavior (which has been consistent since your group joined) I have been told by two separate headmins that you're being watched and well known for grudge/dick behavior towards people.
So yes, there absolutely is a metagrudge based on word of mouth, seeing as at least ICly, I've not had any major issues with you, yet you still treat me like dogshit IC and OOCly.