[Main] COME ON DOWN TO WIDE TODDS PETTING ZOO AND MEAT EMPORIUM

[MrJWhit]

[Document is an A4 sheet of paper that has been laminated, dated 2435]

COME ON DOWN TO WIDE TODDS PETTING ZOO AND MEAT EMPORIUM

WE HAVE EVERYTHING YOUR KIDS WANT
THEY WANT HOT DOGS? WE GOT EM.
THEY WANT TO PET A PIG? WE GOT EM.
THEY WANT TO WATCH FLASHING LIGHTS? WE GOT EM.

COME ON DOWN TO WIDE TODDS PETTING ZOO AND MEAT EMPORIUM

WE HAVE EVERY TYPE OF MEAT YOU CAN EAT
BEEF? WE HAVE UPLIFTED COWS PREPARING IT
PORK? ACTUALLY HAVE UPLIFTED PIGS FOR THAT
CHICKEN? THOSE ARE THE COWS AGAIN, CHICKEN ARE REALLY DUMB
WEIRD XENOBIOLOGICAL ENTITY? THOSE ARE MOSTLY USED FOR SAUSAGE

COME ON DOWN TO WIDE TODDS PETTING ZOO AND MEAT EMPORIUM

[A BBQ smudge covered this part pre-lamination]
THAT'S RIGHT, WE HAVE 24 LEGALLY UNIQUE SAUSAGES
AT LEAST 7 SPICES FROM MULTIPLE DIFFERENT WORLDS AND HABITATS

KIDS EAT FREE, SMOKING ENCOURAGED

YOUR KIDS WILL LOVE IT, OR MY NAME ISN'T WIDE TODD.

[A cursory glance through documentations of that era show that "Wide Todd" was, in fact, Frank Blandswordth]

[MrJWhit]

P.S. I love Wide Todd and nobody will take him from me.